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Self-Love: What’s Love Got To Do With It?

What’s Love Got To Do With It
Written by Stacy Hardiman

January 24, 2018

How we give and receive love is indicative of how we love ourselves as well as what we learned through our love experiences. Who you are now has everything to do with who you were but you have to believe those experiences were lessons of survival, self-preservation, purpose, and yes a journey toward love of self. We have to put those lessons to good use! Love reflects itself differently at different times in our lives toward ourselves and others. It is in these times that we can get love and hate mixed up because LOVE and EGO are so scarily similar that you have to be careful to not overstep the line.

Here are a few examples:
Love: You are in a new phase in your life and might need to update/upgrade your wardrobe. Purchasing items for improvement of image and to reflect the new “you” is wonderful and an act of love. We feel good when we look good and vice versa.

Hate: Overspending to look good is self-hate when your bank account can’t accommodate the charges and your credit is affected. Even if you can afford a pair of shoes in three different colors…what are you trying to prove? Ok, the shoes are fine but you need clothes to accessorize with the shoes…and then jewelry….maybe just a pair of earrings or a watch….ok I’ll wear what I have but my hairstyle needs to coordinate with the style of the outfit and so on….there is a domino effect here.

Acts of self-love uplifts you and can validate you and acts of self-hate is a spiraling effect of negative behavior against yourself. New clothes = great; bad credit and/or debt to income ratio because of new clothes = bad.

Love: At a different age or stage of life you could become selfish with your time and yourself. Creating boundaries is necessary and the greatest show of self-love possible, or at least one of them. Putting others first can be a show of love but when you do that at the expense of your own sanity or comfort that can present as hate.

Hate: If you are selfish with your time and love to family and friends and it has nothing to do with protecting your spirit, you are creating an environment that is void of love and it prevents you from the connections we innately need to thrive.

Love: If you are dating (could be multiple people) for companionship or purpose of finding a permanent mate you are satisfying your desire to share time and energy with another human being. You are loving yourself enough to feed your spirit and give yourself the opportunity to laugh, nurture, care about others, etc. and receive those things in return.

Hate: You are dating multiple people with no purpose to yourself other than seeing what happens *insert shoulder shrugs here* you are setting yourself up for disappointment and disaster.

Next to God, or whomever you acknowledge your higher power to be, you are next in line in importance to your life. Self-preservation is key and you dictate how you live, how you are treated, how you are loved…even by YOU. It is imperative that you love yourself in a way that your life mirrors the level of love you are introspectively orchestrating. There’s always room for love and more love and if you are not satisfied with how your life looks change your love reflection…be genuine, be thoughtful, be true, BE YOU.

Not only love yourself, make love to yourself…well not in that way *wink* but then again that is ok too if it makes you happy and keeps your love energy steady and keeps you from being Queen Thottie trying to relieve pressure. 

January -2018

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